Meet me

Today, I confronted my inner demons and spoke to my poly ex. Ever since I unblock him from my msn, he would chat with me often, until the recent incident that happened and he stopped altogether.

Somehow chatting with him made me realized why I left him. Yes, oh how he croons I'm still the best one for him, even after all the freaking people he could get to meet and date, from young twinks to older men. It's such an interesting contrast for me, since I don't date much and I only had one other boyfriend these past years. I guess he's searching for something that's not there, which is me. I don't believe this is the way things work, sleeping with everyone to find this "feeling" and thank god I don't feel pissed. Especially how he had a great marathon sex with some kid and he seemed to be boasting in front of me..... like orh cool, what's next?

The same can't be say to the guy I hope to know better, I wonder why he's feeling guilty, I don't belong to my ex anymore in the first place. Gosh, it's so frustrating, like some forbidden love, not that it isn't in the first place but why do I always end up in relationships requiring expert skills??

It's gonna be one hell of a bumpy road ahead but I guess I should slowly work things out. No point telling him in the face that I want him..... what would happen if he tells me he don't feel the same?? I feel so lusty now, urgh gotta resisitttttt.