My usual routine for Sunday would be the maintenance of my marine tank and my carnivorous plants. I love doing these stuff, and it's not like I have all the time in the world too! It somehow gives me a sense of achievement when I see the end results of a beautiful marine tank and plants.
Currently my tank is not doing too well though, not sure why either. My cute little "clean-up" crews, which consists of some little blue hermit crabs and normal crabs, kept dying in my tank. Im not sure if there's a hidden predator or it's my water condition. Some of my corals are withering as well, but it's weird since 3 of my beloved clams, which are seriously hard to keep, are doing very well!
Managed to meet sniffy today and we had an early dinner before watching Harry Potter. Harry Potter the movie has changed quite a bit, from the previous one I saw which was like the first film. I expected a kids-dominated fantasy tale but I felt it has become a young adult story, complete with deaths and ugly things torturing Harry. That you don't see in a normal kids film. But it's a good pop corn flick which thrills and grills you to the end. When sniffy and I had to spilt for home, I feel so sad, how I wish everyday I can see him.......Love you much!!~!~
I do not know how I got through this week, Leaving home at 730am in the morning and be back around 130am, just enough to sleep over 5 hours before starting all over again. I am starting to have second thoughts of this job.
Yesterday we went to look at the office unit next to ours where my boss wanted to extend to. She also told me she would get another designer to share the workload. Hopefully she does. I have been rather quiet and sometimes I think am such a stupid ass to be this way. First of all I took this job because during the interview, she told me if I were to start in 3 days I would get a month's pay instead of 3 weeks. However when I got the cheque, it was only 3 weeks. Yes, STUPID me kept quiet about it......
Just now, when I came home alittle over 2AM, my dear pa came over and told me how insane of me to work such hours with so little pay. I seriously don't know why either. I am currently freakingly tired and the worst thing is my boss have to fly off to Germany to help a client..... Which leaves just 2 of us!!!!!! I seriously don't even want to think about what will happen next week.....
Im really sad.... not sure if I am doing the right thing. Im betting that my boss would hire another guy to help up and when my prohibition ends, she would give me a good pay increment. But now, with this hell load of work, im seriously worried. If she doesn't do these stuff by the end of Jan next year, most likely I will quit, provided im still alive!! HAHA!
I will have to pull myself through this, since there is no other way of going about. Please, it's a really heavy bet....
Woohoo~~ Banked in my cheque earlier..... most likely the money rain will nourish my badly withered bank account this weekend :) Sadly, it amounted to only about 1000 bucks(minus CPF...something that will save me when I am old and unwanted). 13 hours work of a day, just like this week, and all I get is $1300. Wish I had more........ Like who doesn't!?? Haha guess I gotta enjoy what I have ya(Humble is the word!)
Yesterday was one of the most stressful days I ever had in the 3 weeks that I have worked here. I had this client(let's call her Nana), called me that morning and demanded me to work on my most hated assignment, which was to make 2 corporate banners. Even though she demands alot of things to be done in breakneck speed, her way of speech was totally the opposite.
"Hey..... please la.....I can't see the words le...... can you help me change it........and the colour hor..... cannot la.........................so how...........................................I can't see the words le......................................... is there something wrong with the words..................it looks blur ........... ....................... can help me change right.................I can't see the words le......"
I almost wanted to hang up the bloody phone. Nana, if you want me to do the damn changes, at least have the courtesy of ending the call first right Nana??!!! The sample images on your computer Nana isn't going to update itself you know urgh! By the way, the banners weren't blur, it was because I wanted to save it in a lower resolution so that it can be exported faster for you Nana -_-"
Hmm.... that reminds me, gotta find a how to book on hanging up calls....
I have never really been honest, not even to this blog. I am just worried that some of my friends might read this and know some things they never knew about me, like how I prefer guys... haha! But after sometime, it is really stupid of me to even think so far. If my friends ever happen to chance upon this..... then good for them!
Friends that I have known in school knows about me, but not my army buddies, cousins and most of all, my parents. It's the most excurciating feeling that makes you feel like telling everyone but obviously they aren't going to accept this, especially in Singapore, where the govt are encouraging us to make more babies for the declining population!In fact, when you walk around the streets these days, you will see quite a bit of butches(or girls dressing up like guy). Somehow, our society is beginning to accept them altogether, which is really fascinating. The same can't be said for gays though. The funny thing is, everyone loves to stereotype gays to be the flamboyant, drama queen that TV always love to portray. The sad thing is, its quite true. Most of my gay friends are really like these, somehow it's like as if they are acting out this whole gay life shit, which I think is totally overblown.
Actually, Im not sure what am I. Even though I like guys, I don't like to hang out with my gay friends as I find them too superficial. I find things like gaypride and gay parades more like a place to make out then for anyone to make a stand. The same goes with my current boyfriend, whom I knew when we were in army. He's a really great, straight-acting guy. But I don't think he's gay. Our relationship, like I said earlier is really strange. I believe he likes girls but somehow there was something between us that made us click and become so close. Im not talking about anything that feels or sounds like cheese dogs here ok haha! Compared to my previous boyfriend, who was a closet guy who dreams of the "gay" life of having many gay friends and having sex at some parades, sniffy(my pet name for him LOL) isn't this way. Every now and then, I worry about the day he finds some girl that would replace me in his life, and my whole life would come tumbling down.
Sniffy is actually a very quiet and shy guy. I know we loved each other deeply when both of us actually cried when we had a fight. But there's something missing. He 's the type that waits for the other party to move first, and he doesn't have initiative! It's quite sad for me sometimes, since my previous boyfriend was more proactive and more sexual (hehe), Sniffy is almost asexual. We have quarreled about this many times but nothing seems to change. Worst is that both of us are busy working during weekdays and sometimes weekends. I am so willing to spend my off days with him even though im dead tired but he doesn't want to meet up, or he goes to play soccer! I have cried many times and I know im a useless shithead but I really love him. I feel so monotonous, and he never tells me how he feels. Hell he's even too shy to say I love you! It's such a pathetic relationship but I want to keep it. Someday, this could be one of my best moments or the worst letdowns in my books. Sigh.
I am kind of missing the leave days i took before i ORDed. There was nothing much to worry about.... there was still money coming in (Haha!) and it was bliss.
Today's weather is gloomy, as it has always been for the past few weeks. Guess the rainy season is creeping back, not that i am complaining since i spent most of my time indoors now. And that brings me to something i had always thought about.
I have somehow stereotyped office guys to be pale, always attired with those stiff and horribly matched shirts and ties, and be stuck in an office depraved of sunlight and the outdoors.I prayed hard that i would never end up that way and even teased my unfortunate friends who became that way. Somehow working in my current job, i felt that i am almost equivalent to an office guy, only worst.
Even though i wear T-shirts and jeans, Im stuck in the sunless office much longer than an average office worker(counting how they usually work from 9 to 5 huh). The thought of me being pale white scares me too, gonna maintain whatever tan i still have in my skin...
Guess im wasting my time on useless thoughts again, but that's what i do best. Hmm.... gonna take a nap again hehe..... i love weekends!
Spotted this 2 fellows in my workplace(Jack Russels?) They were busy tasting my hands when i played with them. Mom... Can i have them please??!!
I believe I spent about 3/4 of my time in the office this week. Surprisely it went by quite fast, or maybe because I did not want to remember any part of it -_- The work load is getting heavier and I wonder if I will even survive through Xmas!
And WHO the hell proclaim that it is not necessary to PAY people when they do overtime??!!! They should start getting a law passed down on this! >(
Quite abit happened this week and most likely I will pen it down over this precious weekend. I was supposed to work tom(SAT) too but thankfully, my boss said I didn't have to, since they will not have much for me to do haha ;) useless me.The only thing that spoilt my day was brunch. I bought a plate of mixed rice from a stall which I had never tried previously and was shocked when the aunt told me it costed $4!! Likehello~(bitchy!) There's only 1 serving of meat and 2 vegetables and it would normally cost no more than $3! I wouldn't be so particular about such things but currently my money plant died on me :(
I want to write this down so that one day, when I happen to read this again,I will laugh at myself or being so silly!
I'm so broke now that I have only my spare coins for food and transport. Thank god I have this little box in my room where I always dump the coins found in my pants, knowing someday this "excess" coins will come in handy ;pI wouldn't be in this state if I did not buy the pore cleanser the previous week..... out of impose of course -_- Now I have to carry a small ziplock of coins everywhere I go since I couldn't find a freaking coin purse in my house! YYees... its a ziplock bag filled with coins and I got laughed at(how dare she!!~~) by my friend. Well..... Someday I'm gonna make it fashionable to carry coins that way!
Urgh!! Is the weekend ever gonna come??!! Its only Thursday and Im starting to act funny :s I will never finish complaining how tired I am so I won't even start. Sigh... this evening I was hoping to meet my sniffy but ended up having a lonely dinner at my neighborhood mall(where most of the stores were closing and all I could eat was some herbal chicken soup and its expensive and pathetic!!)
I realized it's a norm to end work at 8pm, and I hate it! It would be so difficult to meet friends for dinner. I'm hoping my company won't burn my precious weekend too(they sometimes do if there's work to rush~~) Pleaseeee!!!!!~~~~ I did nothing wrong..... ;(
My posts seemed to be getting more depressing, maybe cause its just my first work week. Like how my friends say, " you will need some time to get used to, after that you basically sold your soul already." Hahaha! Great. My best friends at work!
Today is the third day of work and I came back at about 930pm. That is considered early compared to yesterday when I arrived home at 130AM, yes AM. My company received a last-minute assignment at 730pm and we had to scan hundreds of pictures, edit them to the desired size and print them. Since there were only 3 of us, I had to stay back :(
We had a quick dinner before starting our unpaid over-time job. By 930pm, I have became an automated scanning machine, efficiently changing books without a lag of time, and operating the computer with just a few tabs (shortcuts are important you know!) on the keyboard. When we have finally finished editing the pictures, my boss was "kind" enough to send me back, leaving the other fellow to print. By the way, both my employers actually do sleepovers in their offices, which is why they don't seem to mind staying abit late, maybe later, or even having supper near our workplace!
They are nice people, and they taught me quite a few stuff in these few days. But they need to know I DON'T do sleepovers in the office, no matter how cozy the entertainment room is. Sigh..... Guess I have to be more assertive as time goes, if not they may think I actually enjoy staying in the office :0
Today wasn't that busy, but I still had to rush some assignments. I don't know why, maybe I needed some retail therapy, cause after work I headed to this city mall and purchased a cool pore cleanser! Or should I say, a pore vacuum cleaner. I first saw it in a magazine and thought it was interesting and affordable, and something in my head told me that its a must-have! haha!
Its a cute little machine that I will write more about at another time(IM tired you know!). My aim for buying this(yes I do have long term goals too hehe), is that I hope it would be a good investment instead of doing frequent facials at those expensive skin care centers. Yup I do facials and I'm proud of it. Everybody wants clean pores right?!! Well.... I have oily clogged skin!
Yess! Finally back from my first day of work at the design firm. It wasn't that bad but it was very mentally taxing, having to come up with ideas for posters and websites in the shortest time! Didn't know it was that difficult to design a simple motivational poster, until when i started to brain-storm my mind went blank!
Hopefully my brain can rid all the dirt and dust that have collected over the past year when I was in NS. I hope the guys in the company are genuinely nice and that this is not a bait to lure me to join them. Hehhe but guess time will tell.
I kinda missed the days when I would be lazing around and reading other people's blogs(yes haha). But happy times never last, only bad times do. And I still miss you a lot sniffy.
I have just got these gorgeous carnivorous plants from a nice planter. It's really hard to grow them over here in the tropics, since most of them belong to climates that experience winters.
I have got 3 lovely Venus fly traps(those that have the teethed jaws at the ends of their leaves) and some Sundays, which is a cute little plant that has small liquid droplets all over their leaves which they use to lure and trap preys.
This are my favorite pink flytraps. It has the biggest wicked traps compared to the rest. Have yet to feed them insects though.
Well Well...... Went for a job interview this morning and guess what, I got a job!
Im not sure why Im not really excited about this. Maybe its the low pay, or the work place is really far(about 1 1/2hrs away from my home). The people seemed nice, there are only 2 btw. I can't remember their names though, but they were rather friendly. I was supposed to go for 2 more interviews, but something made me take up this job first.They even told me they prefer junior graphic designers(yup that's what I am) so that they can teach and nurture them(or me). I guess the main point is that they want things their way.
I have no complaints, since Im pretty new. So Im hoping for the best, when Monday comes. And by the time December is here, I hope that I can prove myself as a helpful asset and get a pay increment. Will tell you more when I start my little job.
Hmm... back to my baby. As usual, he never calls or sms me. He told me he's busy with work, I guess that sounds reasonable. But even when he's done with the day, I don't receive anything from him. We haven't met for a week, and I missed him dearly, often telling him so. But he doesn't do that to me. Why??!!
Does words mean more when they ain't spoken? Personally I don't. I think the next best thing to do if you can't meet each other is to call or page them to tell them you love them. It's already so difficult to be in our situation (we are 2 guys actually ..Ops yes!), we can't kiss and make out and hold hands publicly. There's very limited ways of expressing and it's really sad sometimes. Im not sure how this can go on, but I truly dearly miss him. Does he miss me too? I never know when he never tell.......
What is life when your love tells you he loves you deep inside, in the hidden dungeons of his heart, where nothing is seen nor heard. It's really sad, with my yearnings held afar, for you to reach and smile. There's no returns of blissful voices, like a lighthouse shining far, for one ship to come ashore.
I need a hand and soul to see, to feel the warmth around my shins, But all I is get nothing, the tinest dust nor touch my skin.
I truly deeply love you, with all my heart and mind, Im empty but dragged with weeds. I don't want this to end, like credits of a beautiful movie...........
I love you, miss you, and want to hold you. But do you? My tears are trying to overflow, but i know it's useless to let them go. Im waiting and will always do. Maybe it's fate that made us due.
